The Most Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines Of All Time

Now I love reading, and voraciously rip through books and magazines when time permits, and what I miss living in Dubai is the wonderfully accurate and timeless literature that comes from great papers such as Weekly World News in the states, on rare occasions I've seen the paper at some random supermarket in Jumeirah but for the most part, I've been 'breaking news' free. So with much pleasure I bring to you courtesy of Rock the List the Most Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines of all Time.

As you can see, the Internet is in fact powered by an Apple Power Mac 7500. I knew it all along!

Skynet really fucked this one up.

Next time you get an email with an attachment, do not open it unless you want to be blown to smithereens! Every PC comes with a built-in bomb. Apple has not yet joined the “Blown To Smithereens” alliance so your mac should be relatively safe.

Not only did he kick a terrorist. He kicked a fucking burning terrorist. This guy is my hero.

The karate baby could kick that ape’s ass.

All doctors are aliens. This is NOT NEWS!

Yes, the Clinton era economic boom was shaped by aliens. Aliens hate Bush so they did not help a brotha out. Plus the whole Skynet / Alien partnership never worked out. Aliens can not stand retarded robots.

Banks will fail, stock market will crash, worldwide depression… This headline was 8 years ahead of its time.

Lincoln was a chick with a bigass beard. Nice . . .

“This was worse than Hurricane Andrew” because Hurricane Andrew apparently blew peoples’ hair off.

More crazy white folk being crazy.

Rednecks caught Osama in Missouri and found the blueprints to a Nuclear Power Plant on him while the treasury was printing “disappeating ink” money and the country’s trees were being attaced by a vegan vampire. Nice.

Everyone knows that all Rednecks ARE aliens.

Bat Boy even has his own musical.

We discovered a new race of aliens a long time ago. There're called Scientologists.

I can haz lethal injection?

We already know aliens had full control of the Clinton presidency. Hillary got it on with aliens while Bill was pimpin human interns.

Finally! 200 women to be sold on eBay. Been waiting for this moment my entire life. The retarded eBay execs would probably approve this auction too. PayPal would even offer seller protection and hold payment until all the hoez are delivered.

Another idiot who claims to cure cancer through psychic powers.

The secular folk are going to dig this.

Talking cats are not a secret. We all know that cats talk. Just got to icanhascheezburger.com and see for yourself.

Rosie O’Donnell could replace bigfoot on here and the headline would not change one bit.

How is this news! This happens all the time damn it.

One word - Junior

Who doesn’t worship Oprah! Its a cult damn it. The Oprah book club suggestions are secret messages to her alien worshipers.

Bigfoot is apparently a homosexual beast who loves trailer park trash lumberjacks. Good times all around.

Hillary attacks EVERYTHING damn it. Get a clue Globe.

We all know Michael Jackson is not human. He may even be Hillary’s alien baby.

LEO MADE IT!