Resistance

I'm stressed.


I'm drained.


I'm running on empty.


But like all tortured souls, I'll persevere.

Sixteen Randoms Thoughts while Jogging

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "psychotic mental illness." Similair to the line between "having a crush on someone" and "stalker from Cape Fear".
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life. Ever.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. And if a girl asks you, it's cause she like you muppet so dance. (I learned that the hard way).
7. Never lick a steak knife. No matter how good the gravy is.
8. You will also NEVER be skilled enough to do the knife between fingers trick that Bishop does in Alien. (Sorry Paul)
9. The most destructive force in the universe is jealously.
10. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
11. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
12. People expect that there comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is never. It's your birthday. Enjoy it.
13. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we have some special skills that makes us unique. (Shooting milk through your nose does not count).
14. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, taxi driver, or cashier is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails. Ever.)
15. Life ain’t a box of chocolates. Life sucks sometimes, really, really bad. It whacks you in the mouth and when you’re getting up it kicks you in the side. Other times you feel like every element of this universe forms towards you, and fills you with a high you never though existed. It’s a balance, deal with it.
16. Diplomacy is remembering a woman's birthday, but never her age.

復活 - Rebirth

I am willing to trust. I know I can have whatever I am ready and willing to receive. Individual receptivity is everything. Without it, nothing changes. With it, all things are possible. I no longer insist upon my choice.

I know that the only thing I lose when I let go of something I am afraid to live without is the fear itself. I am stronger than anything that frightens me, as scary as that may sound.

I let go of the past, and I am free to think clearly and positively in the present. I am not my past.
Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on is an energy drain and it hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice. Letting go does not mean giving up.

Letting go is a journey that never ends. Never. It only begins -- over and over again -- each time I can glimpse something higher than my own painful certainty over who I think I am. There is always something higher; a life beyond the limits of my present sight.

To see what is farther I must be willing to lift my eyes from their present point of focus. Release always follows revelation and real revelation is always a glimpse of something that was only just out of sight.

I know that stress in previous relationships existed because I insisted it should. What I resist; persists. I am tied to whatever I avoid.

It is a mistaken belief that I must push my relationships in the direction I choose that keeps me in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Reality has its own effortless course, and I can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with mine.

I do not need power to flow.

I let go of that part of myself that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. I give birth to a new me that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.

I dare to walk away from all of the familiar but useless mental and emotional relationships that give me a temporary but unsatisfactory sense of self. My true identity is calling me and to hear it I must be willing to endure, for as long as necessary, the fear of self-uncertainty.

This form of seeming self-abandonment eventually turns into my greatest pleasure as it becomes increasingly evident that the only thing certain about fear is that it will always compromise me.

When it comes to who I really am, there is no compromise and should never be.

Let go of the past. The past is yesterday. It is irretrievable. When you relate to the past, you relate to no one or any thing. You are literally talking to yourself. No one else is listening. You have already heard all you have to say about that, so, let go.

I heard once that "You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled."

It is certifiable insanity to conjure up your own reality based on the past and relate to it, rather than to relate to the present which is the only reality.

I say goodbye to the past and hello to the present.

I am enthusiastic about who I am becoming. I know that no one sincerely asks for a new life until they are thoroughly dissatisfied with the old one. I am and I let go. When I allow myself to let go of what is old, I stay true to what is new.

I believe that as with all insight, higher understanding itself contains not only the instructions I must follow, but the strength I will need to carry them out.

Starting life over again is the key to a new me. I see the beauty and significance of starting over - over and over and over. Every present moment is always new and new is always right now! The new dies to the ever-new in an endless cycle.

I live in the present. I never let the past dictate the direction of the present moment. I give my best to my endeavors.

What lies ahead for me can only be good.

True peace and understanding are a part of who I am.

I have come to the realization that what is possible for me to become only truly changes when I am willing to see what is impossible for me to continue being.

My true nature is already fully independent and flying freely. I have found my wings. This is what it means to fly without them.

I let go.

And so it is.

Canon IXUS 75

So it’s been almost 3 years since I last bought a new camera, my last being the (at that time) awesomely cool Kodak 3.1 megapixel Easyshare camera, which to be honest I had most interest in the photo dock that allowed me to print immediately photos which I though was the bomb. Sadly I never printed many photos over the years, and since the last year have been looking for a camera I felt comfortable with in sense of size and functionality. Having wanted to take up photography for a while too, I wanted something that had some degree of functionality and adjustment capability, and not something too generic. After much research and testing over and over (annoying countless salespersons), I decided upon the Canon IXUS 75. I would have ideally liked something a little bit smaller, and comparing it to the Casio Exilim EX-S600 that I was originally looking at it is a bit thicker, but I’m very happy with the quality so far. In their IXUS line of compact cameras, Canon consistently provides wonderful point and shoot devices that appeal to a wide variety of people. While not doing anything particularly special, from what I’ve seen they usually combine stylish design with small form factor and great pictures to create a very attractive consumer package. The Digital IXUS 75 continues this trend and is one of the better buys on the market if size is a primary concern.

As usual with Canon's products, image quality is fairly good, and sporting a 7.1 megapixel sensor and Canon's awesome Digic III processor, I was looking forward to some extremely sharp, detailed pictures. Unfortunately, while most of my shots were crisp for the most part, there was some noticeable fringing and haloing in some areas. This wasn't problematic at smaller print sizes, and thus won't impact upon the majority of people I think, but at larger magnifications it may be an issue. In speed it was pretty good, exhibiting a .06 second shutter lag, 1.6 seconds between shots and 1.4 seconds of power up time. The power up time and shutter lag in particular mean you can be up and running in no time with this model, and are great selling points for those who want to quickly capture that perfect moment and move on, where like me most times random things occur that you just have to photograph.

All the standard Canon features are packed into this unit, including the brilliant face detect focus mode. This absolutely kicks ass. This picks out human faces in the picture and makes them the focus point. It operates exceptionally well and is wicked as you can actually see the crosshair following faces as you move the camera around. Other features include manual and preset white balance modes, ISO sensitivities up to 1600, exposure compensation, ten scene modes and a 2.5 frame per second burst mode. There is more than enough here to keep the novice user (like myself) busy and allow a little flexibility with how you take your shots.

The design is also noteworthy from my aesthetic desiring eyes. Departing from the rather traditional plain silver motif seen on past models, Canon has this time decide to go for a more eye catching design, combining silver and gloss black metal, to create one of the most stylish compact cameras on the market. This is well complimented by the enormous 3in screen. Wearing glasses already guides me towards gadgets that are easy to use and read, with this being no exception. A great feature that will be appreciated by a lot of people, is that the screen is not only huge but of great quality, and makes framing shots so much easier. The controls are laid out in a similar way to the previous IXUS models form what I have noticed. There is a five-way navigational pad, kind of a poor man’s iPod scroll wheel, and buttons run in a line from top to bottom around it. They are a little smaller on this model, but everything is still easy to navigate and new users shouldn't have any trouble navigating the interface. Despite having a big screen, the IXUS 75 is a tiny camera. Measuring just 91.6mm x 19.6mm x 56.8mm and weighing 130g, it is the ideal device to throw in your bag or pocket and take out with you. For those of you looking for something small and funky, but with a solid reputation for photo taking, I recommend you pick one of these bad boys up.

Doha and All That Jazz

So this bloody blog was delayed many many times, and since coming back from Doha I fell into this stupid ass flu and have not been able to sit properly for longer than 15 minutes on the computer without my tears tearing. Not the ideal way to write away. So bear with me as we switch back and forth, present and past, now and oh whatever, you get the picture.

So I write now sitting at Doha airport drinking a tepid cup of Chamomile tea whilst an angry child screams to high heaven as the surrounding passenger try to ignore the quiet mother who politely tries to steer away from the truth that she’s forgetting her son and focusing on watching the mute but still scenes of Oprah’s latest tirade. So as I sit here contemplating whether I should simply; move, stick bubblegum (watermelon flavor) in my ear, or simply dive headfirst through the window onto the tarmac, I am greeted with a sight that simultaneously amuses me and also makes me cringe at the human race. A man strolls into the lounge, wearing a white suit with orange stripes, a red baseball hat proudly stating Panasonic, and a white t-shirt with what seems to be ketchup and mustard stains but still displaying the words “I love Jetskis”. After rustling in, imagine John Wayne with a hernia, standing and looking around like the trumpets should have played upon his entrance, he steps two feet and trips on the carpet flat on his face.

It’s been a long time since I laughed so hard, and one of the few times I laughed so hard I actually fell out of my chair. Needless to say, he did not appreciate my take on this incident, and glared at me before rustling on away.

And it's been so long since I've written, mea culpa. Things have been so busy that finding time to sit and let my thoughts settle has been a chore. So of all places sitting in my robe in room #1916 of the Movenpick Suites Doha last night I let my thoughts unfold only to find that the internet connection was not working. A quick call to the reception informed me that QTel, the local telecoms provider here in Qatar had some issues. So this update on the world of Keshi Ko comes a few days delayed, but none diluted.

So the week so far started off well, Saturday brought about a coffee and walk with a very nice Australian individual, where it’s been a long time since meeting someone has brought forth natural and comfortable conversation. Where does it go from here? Let’s see upon return to Dubai if a good meal and conversation is next to follow! She’s beautiful, honest, traveled and it’s been so long I’ve realized how much I miss the Auzzie sense of humor and take on life. Let’s see if this trend continues.

So Tuesday early morning I took the wonderful 8:30am Emirates flight to Doha, (and of course I LOVE waking up so early), so already it was a bad morning for things to go wrong. The flight had a LOT of turbulence, and flying in a metal tube where it shakes violently freaks the hell out of me. Not really my preferred choice morning activities. Now part of flying is the mystique one gets of being anonymous, and having the chance to mingle amongst the anonymous and bizarre people you don’t know. Even though you know nothing of name or origin, you share some strange kinship, akin to the ones smokers have when they meet in the smoking area, like different cattle of different herds grazing on a pasture they’ve happened to find at the same time. I’ve always wondered, and come up with this theory, which for now I shall call the “A2R Theory”. Now, when going to a boarding gate at the airport, inevitably you will see an attractive man/woman, traveling alone. You look at them and think, wow, there’re quite the eyeful. You think to yourself that maybe the hands of fate and almighty powers will send this person to sit next to you, where you find out when you start talking they share the same love and compassion for things you do; i.e. reading, long walks on beach, listening to Edith Pilaf while on lithium, learning sign language while bungee jumping, etc . . . and by this chance encounter you get of the plane together and as fate delays both your ongoing flights and coffee turns into dinner turns into dancing turns into 40 years of marriage and the best damn original love story since Gone with the Wind which almost never got made as Cary Grant was still smarting from the failure of his last costume drama, "Parnell" in 1937, but that my friends, is a tale for another time.

So arriving at gate 34, I saw her. Tall but not too tall, about 5 foot 11, long dark hair just down to her shoulders, leaned against the glass wall tapping her feet while reading a book. Back jeans, white shirt and brown jacket, and casual sneakers. A woman who takes priority in comfort over style has high points in my book. With a beautiful smile and fiercely deep eyes, and chewing on her hair looking at me as I walked past (almost into a couple pushing a trolley of what must be all the duty-free booze in the airport) with a delightful smirk of a grin, it seemed it would be a good flight.

So what happens after you board is that you sit in your seat, nonchalant, your iPod and book, (at this point I must mention the “Smart Book Theory”, which was presented to me by an old college friend, Jerome Davis. He believed you proportionally increased your chances of meeting people in places of transit, i.e. planes, trains or even train stations, buses and their stations, coffee shops, etc., if you held in your hands a novella that was unique due to its title, color, binding, or other individual facet that attracted the other person to you and your “unique” taste. Of course I argued that when meeting you the other person would start the conversation about that said book, but sadly that point was lost on Jerome. Looking at the alumni website now, Jerome still works at the travel agency in downtown Northbridge in Perth, and I believe his success rate is still a paltry 0.1%. A girl once approached him but mistook him for someone else.), minding your own business when walking down the aisle comes this said individual, when lo and behold, they sit next to you. You try and play cool, have an element of the Fonz with you and think of a witty way to start conversation with this person (who always smells just like they stepped out of the shower whilst you are already sweating from running through the terminal or catching your 4th flight in a row), when all of a sudden some goliath of a person, usually the opposite of your gender stands at your row and starts discussing something with your adjacent angel. Who is this person? And how dare they interrupt the flow of conversation that was waiting to be born and start flowing? It turns out that they are sadly the practical form of reality, here to tell the person sitting next to you that they are in the wrong seat and should actually be sitting 5 rows down. The attractive man/woman (who could in all forms of parallel universe realities be the love of your life) smiles at you politely, in the kindest smile one can muster having had a 2 minute relationship with no dialogue, and walks away. I don’t think I need to explain who takes their seat. Now one could argue here that you could get up, walk over to where that person was seating now, and start up a conversation with them. I unfortunately, lack that element of soul called courage, at least in these matters, and am relegated to disappointment and turning up the music as loud as possible in drowning up the regret singing in my mind. So such was the flight into Doha.

So straight into the office I dove right into the presentations I was there to go through, and 7 hours later I left to go check in. Now with the Four Seasons full (which I must mention has the best rain showers outside of the ones at the Bali Hyatt), I was put up at the Movenpick Suite Tower. I was very impressed with the room, especially with the amount of upgrading Movenpick has been going through the last four years, in a strategic move to redefine the brand as people know it to a more upscale hotel chain. This my friends, is definitely a step in the right direction. The rooms remind me of a very modern and clean look, something I remember seeing at Park Hyatts back in the day. The room had a nice 32inch Samsung LCD, and though not a fan of the brand it’s always nice to get an aesthetically pleasing piece of equipment in the room. The colors are warm and welcoming, and interesting enough similar to that I have in my bedroom back room, which I don’t know was funny or just freaky.

The view from the 19th floor was quite nice, though the towers of the Four Seasons Hotels blocked some of it, it was still a good view of the harbor surrounding Doha. Now what I loved here, was the pillows. Pay close attention people, and pay VERY close attention hoteliers and motel owners. This is what hotel pillows should look like. Fluffly. Inviting. Soft. Incredibly oversized. These were pillows that when you sunk your head into them you just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep. I absolutely loved them, and have to say I have two of the best nights sleep that I’ve had in a long time thanks to those pillows.

After some rest and a nice hot shower, (rain shower was there but nothing special), I decided to go the City Center mall to take a look around and pick up some things from the supermarket. I usually hate sitting in the hotel room and always prefer to travel around in the city I’m in. So while I’m there I decide to stop in Carrefour, the ubiquitous stop for buying mass random stuff. After some wanderings, and failed attempt to locate a Nintendo DS, (they only had pink ones), I came across the chips section. Now I’ve been a Pringles fan for many years now, though I’ve tried to eat healthy now since quitting smoking it’s been a while since I’ve seen the smiling mustache man. Who is this man anyways? Why does he have only a mustache and eyebrows? Why am I the only one concerned with these questions? So I came across this flavor that I’ve never seen before. Light Aromas Paprika with a touch of Olive Extract. What the HELL is that? What happened to good old Original? To Salt & Vinegar? To even Sour Cream & Onion? Nevertheless, I bought one to try. I also picked up some Poppa Dums, from some random generic brand I never heard of. Hey, if they can fit poppadums in a can, who am I to complain? If it up to me, I would eat poppadums or parper with every meal I had. So trying the Pringles, one word comes to mind as I taste the sprinking of paprika with a touch of olive extract. Crap. If people wanted the taste of Pringles transformed into this pseudo healthy Mediterranean like version of plastic, they would ask for it. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t. Verdict 2 out of 10. The poppadums didn’t fare to well either. With such boasts on the bottom such as no cholesterol, no yeast, no preservatives, they should have also added no taste. Now as much as it’s probably good that it’s not deep fried as the original is, so much of the oily aftertaste along with that crisp aroma is lost. As a slight memento to remind of me of my nani’s cooking, maybe, but as a confident companion to Indian food, sadly the verdict 4 out of 10. After going to the gym to kill myself on the rowing machine for a while, and a quick dinner later, I started plugging away on the laptop finishing up adjustments to some presentations.

Now I’m a big fan of comfort food and giving in to your cravings, and at around 1:30am I had this intense craving for a banana split. Now what I’ve always loved, (and to be honest, who doesn’t?), is Room Service. A 20 second phone call later, through which I asked the chef on duty to make the mother of all banana splits, this arrived. Now THAT is a banana split, and something to make calorie watcher split their pants. Literally. Hey what the hell, you only live once right?

The next day after long meetings I decided to walk along the Corniche, which was quite full around 6:30pm when I set out. Unfortunately Dubai doesn’t have one, whilst Abu Dhabi has a great cornice one can walk around. Here I took the chance to take some shots again, experimenting with my camera. It’s a beautiful area to walk, and I regretted not coming with my running shoes and relegated only to walking. The weather was still cool and breezy, allowing for a multitude of people going about their daily activities, lovers hand in hand, local Qatari woman covered from head to toe in Nikes and Reeboks exercising, muscle bound spandex wearing runners flying past that never ending finish line, and simple me, walking without rhyme or reason.

Here are some pics of the random walk of the corniche.

Look at what he's wearing as he's "not" swimming:

And one of the greatest things I've seen in a long time:

What a beautiful, varied world we live in.