Zune? Right, enjoy . . .

So a good friend called me this morning, all excited that he had finally gotten himself a Zune, the supposed latest in a string of iPod killers. Now I've never been anti anything, and to be honest, I was actually quite keen when I heard about the concept of it, but sadly; Bill has let many of us down with this . . . It comes in colors, including…umm, just brown. Anyways . . . It also has built in wi-fi, but no browser. You can move songs from one Zune to another, but the songs magically disappear after three days or three plays (leaving a link to buy the song for yourself at Microsoft’s store, woohoo!), whichever comes first. It has a slightly bigger screen and slightly greater battery life than the iPod video. (Note key word here slightly). There’s no iTunes compatibility at all: purchased goods from iTunes will absolutely positively not play on the Zune unless burned and re-ripped. (Awesome for all of us who even actually legally purchased songs!).

Part of the iPod’s appeal is the simplicity of its interface. There’s no fuss, no eye candy, and everything just works with a minimum of visual distraction. Minimalist form follows perfect function. On a Mac, there’s nothing to install for iPod. On Windows, Microsoft requires Zune software to be installed. When the installation fails, you’re presented with a full-screen photo of a girl sprawled out on the ground screaming for her life. Okay . . . (Man, I REALLY want to join this marketing department. It looks like they just cook up some serious drugs and think of the most inept crazy-ass pictures in which to communicate to customers what's going on with their product.)

The copy protection on the Zune is so strict and stupid that it applies to all audio files, regardless of copyright status. Say you make a song in your own cheesy monkeyass band that's played only in your garage and neighbours tupperware party, record it, save it as an MP3, email it to a friend who uses Windows, and the friend puts the song on their Zune. Your buddy thinks the song is so great, he zaps it to other friends with a Zune, but those people to whom he zaps the song using Wi-Fi get three plays or three days. Ironically, if some media is covered by a Creative Commons license, the Zune violates it as it hinders free distribution. Honestly, I wish there was something revolutionary about the Zune. (Besides this new color they seem to think they have invented . . . brown . . .) Competition is good for the consumer and promotes innovation and lowering of prices, it's a natural law of things. But then again the bigwigs at old Microsoft seem to think differently . . . Apple will continue innovating regardless of the Zune and of Vista, that's what gives them the edge. My video iPod is still going strong, and will stand for a long time as one of my best purchases ever.

I also coincidently had this ad sent to me by someone else, and man, this bloody ad is smack you in the face I want to scream on the top of Burj Dubai great. I seriously want to get the drugs that the Zune people have, for whatever it is it brings them to a whole 'nother level in the thought processes that happens in our brains. Nothing says sharing your songs using technology like some multi-eyed creature puking out an eyeball to his buddy’s mouth. Great concept. Of course … once one pukes, one always must have a wicked beer burp directly into the face of said friend, just to prove how manly you are (since sensitivity of this nature is not manly at all, and burps are the main communication method of manly males). What is with the butt clenching? And the overly sexual touching? And before the girls get upset, I really just don’t see these two (aliens? ameobas? slugs?) as being female. There's waaay too much butt clenching, burping and puking going on. Enjoy . . .